Monthly Archives: March 2009

My own little Stewartesque rant

From a story on CNN today about AIG giving out a fresh round of bonuses and the outrage it’s causing:

[AIG Chairman and CEO Edward Liddy said] he took steps to limit his employees’ compensation with trepidation.  He said the company will have trouble attracting and retaining “the best and the brightest … if employees believe that their compensation is subject to continued and arbitrary adjustment by the U.S. Treasury.”

The very next line is just beautiful:

AIG lost a record $62 billion in the fourth quarter of 2008.

So exactly what the fuck makes you think that your company has “the best and the brightest” people if you just recorded the largest quarterly loss in US history?  That’s an insult to bright people everywhere.  And damn, I’d hate to see how much money a bunch of random dumbasses would lose.

Speaking of random dumbasses, the company I work for is not staffed with financial geniuses by any means.  And guess what?  We still turn a profit.  AND we haven’t received $170,000,000,000 in bailout funds.  In fact, we haven’t received any bailout funds.

I was about to say something rude like:  “Who’s the genius now, fucker?” but then I remembered you “losers” (as Rick Santelli would say) are the ones who just got $165,000,000 in bonuses.  Touché, douchebags, touché.

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Filed under News, Rants

Maybe Dora’s not a whore after all

Okay, maybe my last post was a bit premature.  I think the Dora people are totally fucking with us.  They released an intentionally controversial silhouette to cause an uproar when there’s really nothing to be concerned about.  And I even have proof to support my wild conspiracy theories.

dora12

She’s wearing pants.  Everyone should put their pitchforks down and disperse in an orderly fashion.  It’s going to be okay.  In case you’re curious, I did a brand new interpretation based on this newly discovered evidence.

dora21

You’re welcome, you lucky bastards.

UPDATE:  Nailed it.  Thanks to Jen for pointing this out.

new-dora

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Filed under Fun with paint, Random

Whora the explorer

Mattel and Nickelodeon have released a silhouette of the new Dora the Explorer design that will come out this fall.

dora

Apparently, this scandalous preview is causing quite a controversy and there’s even a petition to try to put a stop to her makeover.  Danny at Dad Gone Mad called Dora out on this years ago but I wasn’t sure what the big deal was until I played with the design in Paint.  OMG, she’s a total whore.

whora

UPDATE:  Or maybe not.

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Filed under Fun with paint, Random