1. I got the Comment of the Day the other day on The Bloggess. It’s probably the biggest thing that’s happened to me since the birth of our first kid. If you’ve never read her blog, you should because she’s hilarious. And drunk.
2. Goddamn, I hate those Glade commercials. The Glade sticker stuck to the lady’s ass. The gingerbread man ratting her out for using Glade. The French pronunciation Glah-day. Why is it such a big deal for people to find out that you buy Glade candles or air fresheners or whatthefuckever they’re advertising? Why are they pretending that, on the list of unacceptable social behaviors, using their product is right up there next to shitting your pants at the dinner table? Is that really a good marketing strategy? Am I missing something?
3. The TV is on NBC right now and the Jonas Brothers just performed live (and muted) at Rockefeller Center. I was about to make some smartass comment about how much it would suck to be their drummer or bassist. But now that I think about it, I bet they get all kinds of ass.
4. Kelly tagged me with a bookworm meme. On page 56 of the nearest book, the fifth, sixth, and seventh sentences say:
“Are you having a bad day?” I asked, already aware of the answer.
“Not really,” he said. “It’s just, I don’t know, this is hard.”
Of course, the easiest and most obvious response to that would be “that’s what she said.” So I’ll go with that.
5. Fun fact: Adult giraffes can extend their tongues 20 inches.
Ever since I heard that last week, I haven’t been able to get this thought out of my head: If you were innocently feeding the giraffes at the zoo, is it possible that one of them could get pissed off and shove its tongue down your throat and suffocate you? I’m not sure I want to know the answer.