Porcine lipstick and crocodile tears

Okay, yeah, I do enjoy politics.  And with Sarah Palin officially on the Republican ticket, this is finally getting interesting.  But seriously, even I am a little tired of how both campaigns feign outrage over every little perceived insult or slight.  Yes, I know twisting your opponent’s words is what politics is all about.  That’s fine.  But could we throw in a little bit of actual policy discussion occasionally just to break up the monotony?  Just a little?  No?

Yesterday, Joe Biden mentioned special needs children and stem cell research.  Obviously, this means that he wants to murder your babies.  How dare he.  Today, it’s Barack Obama’s “putting lipstick on a pig” comment.  I don’t know if he was deliberately trying to insult Palin or not, but I’m positive that the dismay and outrage that followed was completely manufactured.  Hey, guys?  All of you?  On both sides?  Could we just go ahead and get this over with now?  Okay, here we go.

Biden isn’t talking about kids with Down syndrome when he says “those guys are beholden to special interests.”

McCain isn’t making a racial slur when he talks about the “good ol’ boy network.”

Obama isn’t referencing McCain’s age when he talks about the “good ol’ boy network.”

Palin isn’t making backhanded Messiah jokes when she talks about Obama “turning back the waters and healing the planet.”

Oh wait.  Nevermind.

In any event, everyone should probably avoid any phrase having to do with dogs, pigs, monkeys, cows, elephants, donkeys, rats, foxes, etc. unless they are ready to make an immediate apology to all offended parties.  As tough as it may be, Obama and Biden should try especially hard to avoid using the word “moose” in any context at all until after the election.  Because if they use that word, Palin will totally have a cow.

Okay, I’ll stop now.

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3 Comments

Filed under Politics, Random

3 responses to “Porcine lipstick and crocodile tears

  1. So I know we’re married and should probably have this conversation in person, but you’re all at work, and I just read this post, and it made me giggle. Especially the “she’ll have a cow” line.

  2. restartlife

    hehe, thx for expressing my sentiments, everyone is so sensitive. And have made the focus of this election about not hurting ppls feeling. Can we just get on with the whole policy discussion already.

  3. This post was hilarious. Well said!! and I really love cows too!! So be careful what you say about them, he he.. I will be back!

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