I have a shrinkage problem

If you’ve ever happened to click on my About page (I think there’s been about two of you who have), you’re probably aware of the fact that I sure enjoy me some ice creams.  This post was inevitable.

Recently, I started noticing that the 1.75 qt ice cream cartons have somehow shrunk down to 1.5 qt.  This is not cool.  I’m man enough to admit that when the half-gallons were replaced with the 1.75ers, I cried a little.  But now this?  This is just mean.

I know what you’re thinking.  Damn those cheap-ass ice cream carton manufacturers, damn them straight to hell.  Slow down.  I just can’t believe some giant corporation would ever intentionally try to screw over its loyal, hardworking customers.  No way.  I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for all this.  My guess is that the carton factory accidentally made a batch of undersized cartons.  I’m not sure how any quality control technician worth his weight in Cookies and Cream could allow such a grievous defect to get out the door, but I’ll bet that sonofabitch was all jazzed up on the dope (yeah, I’m hip to the lingo, young’uns).

But then somehow (the odds of this happening have to be like 1 in a million) the ice cream factory dairy? company didn’t even realize that they had received defective product.  I know, WTF, right?  Sure, accidents happen.  But this is more than just a mere accident.  This is CATASTROPHIC SYSTEM FAILURE.

This is the kind of thing that we as Americans must not stand for.  They’re messing with our freedoms, people.  First, it’s the gas prices.  Then it’s the ice cream.  The next thing you know, you’ll be getting ass-raped in Gitmo.

So I’m getting involved.  I’m writing a letter to all the big ice cream companies and I think you should too.  We have to warn them that they’re being ripped off.  They’re paying full price for undersized cartons.  I just can’t imagine how they must feel.  I bet it sucks getting screwed over like that.  But, once they realize that they’re shipping their product out in defective cartons, I’m sure they’re gonna feel just awful about the whole situation.  Don’t worry, ice cream companies.  We will fully support you as you stand up to those evil ice cream carton corporations.  God Bless America.

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17 Comments

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17 responses to “I have a shrinkage problem

  1. Great blog! Just the kind of quirky post I like. Will be visiting again. Also plan to visit your blog roll!

  2. you know, i’ve been having a yen for some really really good ice cream…i’m not even an ice cream person, but i think that’s terrible about the whole shrinking package thing. DAMN THEM! X(

  3. I know exactly what you mean. I was so upset when I realized that the ice cream was shrinking. I told everyone I knew and no one had yet to realize this and they all looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well, now they understand. Anyway, great blog and great post!!

  4. I love your site. Of all my faves, yours is the only one I actually READ on a regular basis instead of just skimming over. Thank you so much for all the laughs you have produced in my computer room… usually that room only produces silence or frustrated growley noises. Would very much like to add you to my blog-roll or at the very least my links. Please let me know if this is ok. Thanks, and again, Great Job!! Aria

  5. Ann

    I love your blog! It’s so entertaining, and I just found out that Per Se is your wife’s blog. I’ve been on hers a few times and actually just reviewed it on linkreferral prior to coming to your blog, which I found through linkreferral, too and only clicked on it because the title of your blog sparked my interest. I’m putting your blog on my link list so I can come back to read more. Great job!

  6. Wow, you guys just made my day. I have no issue with being blogrolled. At all. Ever.

  7. Whew! They just had the Seinfeld episode on where George ends up with “shrinkage”. I was almost afraid to read on. Good, catchy title!

  8. Pingback: Not All Half-Gallons of Ice Cream Are Shrinking ! « Routing by Rumor

  9. Pingback: Your tax dollars at work « The Husband Blog

  10. Darthvrla

    Blue Bell Ice Cream is still half gallon… if you are fortunate enough to live in the south! It’s pricey, but well worth it!

  11. NoGodForME

    Blue Bell is the best. Publix started selling it, and when it’s on sale I stock up.

    The other manufacturers should take note, they’re shooting themselves in the foot. Open a container of Blue Bell and not only is it a full half gallon, but it’s packed thick, no air pockets. I barely buy Breyers these days.

  12. Bob Warshaw

    It’s not the CARTON MANUFACTURERS!!! It IS the CUSTOMERS of the ICE CREAM MFG”S and the DISTRIBUTORS. For example WALMART. They had a full 1/2 GAL carton of ICE CREAM a year or so ago. They changed the look of the carton. It looked like the same size, but when you looked closely it said 1.75 QUARTS with a price INCREASE. Then several months later they changed the GV CARTON AGAIN. Now it is 1.5 QUARTS and the price went up AGAIN. Now most all of the ICE CREAM labeled products such as BREYERS have followed Waolmart. I vowed not to buy any that are not a FULL 1/2 Gallon. eg HERSHEY is still a 1/2 gallon and very good ICE CREAM. We AMERICANS are being taken for a big fat ride by these lARGE RETAILERS and most don’t even realize this. It started years ago by MAY COMPANY whose policy was to RAISE the price when the goods first arrived at the store. For example if they paid $30.00 for a jacket the retail was put at $99.00. The reason was that the law stated that they could not advertise a price out of thin air. Price had to be established first. Then they ran a 25% off sale, which was what the original price should have been, based on normal mrkup! My friends whever you see a 25% sale don’t buy!!! Wait for yhe next sale which is usuall 50% off. The problem is they never say-OFF WHAT!. I know as I was involved first hand as I was a supplier to the retail stores for many years up until I retired this from business year. GOOD LUCK AMERICANS finding REAL BARGAINS.

  13. Bob Warshaw

    SORRY, TYPO”S HAVE BEEN FIXED, I HOPE. It’s not the CARTON MANUFACTURERS!!! It IS the CUSTOMERS of the ICE CREAM MFG”S and the DISTRIBUTORS. For example WALMART. They had a full 1/2 GAL carton of ICE CREAM a year or so ago. They changed the look of the carton. It looked like the same size, but when you looked closely it said 1.75 QUARTS with a price INCREASE. Then several months later they changed the GV CARTON AGAIN. Now it is 1.5 QUARTS and the price went up AGAIN. Now most all of the ICE CREAM labeled products such as BREYERS have followed Walmart. I vowed not to buy any that are not a FULL 1/2 Gallon. eg HERSHEY is still a 1/2 gallon and very good ICE CREAM. We AMERICANS are being taken for a big fat ride by these lARGE RETAILERS and most don’t even realize this. It started years ago by MAY COMPANY whose policy was to RAISE the price to LOWER the price-philosophy when the mdse first arrived at the store. For example if they paid $30.00 for a jacket the retail was put at $99.00. The reason was that the law stated that they could not advertise a price out of thin air. Price had to be established first. Then they ran a 25% off sale, which almost (but not quite) what the original price should have been, based on normal mrkup! My friends whever you see a 25% sale don’t buy!!! Wait for yhe next sale which is usualy 50% off. The problem is they never say-OFF WHAT!. I know as I was involved first hand, I was a supplier to the retail stores for many years up until I retired from business year. GOOD LUCK AMERICANS finding REAL BARGAINS.

  14. Bobby Baby

    SORRY, TYPO”S HAVE BEEN FIXED, I HOPE. It’s not the CARTON MANUFACTURERS!!! It IS the CUSTOMERS of the ICE CREAM MFG”S and the DISTRIBUTORS. For example WALMART. They had a full 1/2 GAL carton of ICE CREAM a year or so ago. They changed the look of the carton. It looked like the same size, but when you looked closely it said 1.75 QUARTS with a price INCREASE. Then several months later they changed the GV CARTON AGAIN. Now it is 1.5 QUARTS and the price went up AGAIN. Now most all of the ICE CREAM labeled products such as BREYERS have followed Walmart. I vowed not to buy any that are not a FULL 1/2 Gallon. eg HERSHEY is still a 1/2 gallon and very good ICE CREAM. We AMERICANS are being taken for a big fat ride by these lARGE RETAILERS and most don’t even realize this. It started years ago by MAY COMPANY whose policy was to RAISE the price to LOWER the price-philosophy when the mdse first arrived at the store. For example if they paid $30.00 for a jacket the retail was put at $99.00. The reason was that the law stated that they could not advertise a price out of thin air. Price had to be established first. Then they ran a 25% off sale, which almost (but not quite) what the original price should have been, based on normal mrkup! My friends whever you see a 25% sale don’t buy!!! Wait for yhe next sale which is usualy 50% off. The problem is they never say-OFF WHAT!. I know as I was involved first hand, I was a supplier to the retail stores for many years up until I retired from business this year. GOOD LUCK AMERICANS finding REAL BARGAINS.

  15. ked wallader

    This shrinkage problem really burned my butt the first time I saw it and it appeared that a lot of the big ice cream makers followed suit. Not only the size changed but the quality as well case in point: Breyers used to be a really good ice cream could used to eat almost the entire half gallon when I was younger I won’t touch the stuff now its just booty now!! Even homemade brand has shrunk and I find them to be one the better ice creams but it’s $5.99 for 1.48 ounces, thats just not fair. So im gonna try kirkland’s vanilla from Costco. It touts fresh quality ingredients and 1.89 ounces for about $4.40……… I guess i’m just gonna have to make my own so then I know what i’m getting.

  16. Yon Bronson

    >We will fully support you as you stand up to those evil ice cream carton >corporations.

    …but of course we won’t by your product until you come to your phreaking senses. We may be addicts, but we’re not stupid.

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